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Rewrite the Stars

DIY wedding projects, lifestyle and travel blog

Categories: Agony Aunt, Tips, Weddings

How to Deal with Toxic Family Members

Toxic family weddings

 

Toxic relationships and your wedding

 

This is always a tricky subject to navigate, how to deal with toxic family members,  but it is a subject that I see time and time again. How do we navigate toxic relationships at your own wedding? I myself, know exactly how difficult this is, coming from a divorced parent family, and having rather delicate relationships with some family members.

 

For me, it not being my first wedding, I am inclined to just not invite anyone that potentially could disrupt the day. I do, however, completely understand that if its your first wedding you want them to just put things aside, just for that day!

To be clear, we are talking about family members that potentially could upset you and ruin the day, not just Auntie Margaret who becomes a little acid tongued after a few drinks. NB: if you are worried about guests like this, add it to your bridesmaids/ushers’ duties to manage them if this happens, perhaps gently encouraging them to calm down/reign it in.

Toxic family at weddings

 

Can I Just not invite them?

 

The first thing to think about is ‘How important is this person to your day?’ How would the day feel without them there? I am going to use the example here of parents, perhaps they have and an acrimonious divorce and can’t stand the sight of each other. (I can totally relate to this!)

Obviously in this scenario, its not really an option to exclude one of them. Please do not feel pressured to invite people that may ruin your day! It’s a cliché but its YOUR day and people are just going to have to accept your final decision.

If the toxic relationship is directly aimed at you, then I just would not invite them, however harsh this may seem, sometimes it’s the only option.

 

 

How could we manage the situation at the wedding?

 

Let’s look at how we can manage it, assuming that they are both coming to the day. Have a conversation beforehand with the parties involved, just to explain that you are nervous that their conflict will impact your day.

This in itself may be enough to make them aware that you are feeling apprehensive, and they will be thoughtful and considerate.

 

One of the biggest things that will help, is asking for assistance from other family members who understand the problem. They can look out for them and keep an eye for potential fireworks. If it’s a beef between family members its important to try and keep space.

 

In my experience the ceremony isn’t a problem as alcohol hasn’t been imbibed at this point, make sure you have considered where they are seated for the reception.

Consider changing the top table and perhaps only having bridesmaid’s and ushers and not other family. Position the warring parties at either end on separate table. Consider putting people you trust on the table with them just to dispel any trigger topics.

As more alcohol is consumed, the potential for a quarrel increases. Again, allocate someone you trust to keep an eye. If it is a parent, I would encourage them to call it a night if they are getting argumentative.

Toxic Family at weddings

 

Conclusion

 

Remember, you are not responsible for the actions of others, but you ARE responsible for how you react.

Think hard about this;  ‘Do you HAVE to invite them?’ and if you do, relax, it’s your day, you are not in charge of them, they are a grown adult. You do you and have the most wonderful wedding.

If you have any tip that may help, then please do comment below.

Read HERE for some inner wellbeing advice.

 

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Categories: Weddings

Wedding News – May 2021

I can’t believe we are now in June!! AND the sun is out and shining bright. Here is a round up of the wedding news.

Spring Blossom

 

Wedding News – Round Up

 

I thought I would give you a little round up of Wedding News for May, I am not going to talk about ‘C’ because, quite frankly, I have had enough of it! As I am sure you all have too. It’s lovely to see so many of you getting to have your special days and I only hope that it continues for the other lovely brides who have had to postpone once, twice sometimes a lot more.

What I can tell you is that it will be worth the wait! Try and relish that ‘engaged’ period as much as you can and to see the positives. If you need some ideas for your ‘Would be Wedding day’ click HERE.

The first piece of news may or may not be welcome……

 

Change to the Signing of the Register

 

From May 4th there has been a major update in the way your marriage will be registered in England and Wales in a bid to help modernise the system.

An electronic register will be created, and this is deemed to be a safer way to deal with the data. You will now also be able to record your Mother’s name on the register (previously it was just your Father) which is my mind is a much-needed update as I believe your Mother was quite an important part of you coming to be here!

Wedding Rings UK wedding blog

These regulations to amend the Marriage Act mark the biggest changes to the marriage registration system since 1837.

There is to be a marriage schedule or marriage document which will still be signed, it will then be sent to your local register office where it will be added to the marriage register, after that, you can then get your certificate.

This part of the ceremony will now longer take place, but of course the pictures in which the husband and wife posed with a nice pen to sign the register were just that; staged. The register was a legal document and therefore could not be signed and photographed/recorded. If you still feel that you would love this as part of your ceremony, then do think about an alternative. How about a special booklet that you could make? Or a ‘certificate’?

Please do speak with your local register office for the full facts.

Find a register office – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

 

New wedding license approved

 

The next piece of news is that Selfridges are offering weddings!!! Yes, you heard that correctly; the iconic London store Selfridges has gone and got a wedding licence!

I understand that this is for a limited period and its for intimate weddings of 20 guests. Couples will be able to tie the knot in the Wedding Suite situated on the fourth floor, and they have come up with 3 packages to tailor the experience for your needs.

This iconic store, which was founded in 1906 by Henry Gordon Selfridge, has always been ahead of the times. He wanted to bring theatre to his store where ‘Everyone is Welcome’. Long before it was a ‘thing’ he dressed his windows instead of standing on the street to encourage his customers inside.

One thing I think we can guarantee is that the weddings will be spectacularly unique and a wonderful experience.

I am eagerly awaiting to hear who the first couple will be! If you want to know more click on the link below.

wedding-packages | Articles | Selfridges

Read all about Inner Wellbeing and Weddings HERE

Rewrite the Stars Blog

Categories: Tips, Weddings

How to choose your colours for your wedding

Wedding planning choose palette

 

How to choose your colours for your wedding

 

You have decided that you wish to just use a colour to base your wedding design around and here we talk about how to choose your colours for your wedding and build a colour palette.

Let’s have a little look into colour psychology, which works at a subconscious level and creates a gut response. I’ve split these into four seasons.

 

Seasons of Colour

 

Use Nature as a Guide

 

I always believe that looking at nature really gives a good idea if your scheme will work as you never look at it and think ‘oh those colours are all wrong!’

When you look at the picture are you drawn to any of them? I think I am a cross between spring and summer, I am most definitely not winter and as such I don’t think I would ever be drawn to those colours.

The seasons represent lots of keywords, I have picked five:

SPRING: Bright, bubbly, creative, sparkly, fun

SUMMER: Calm, beautiful, graceful, gentle, soft

AUTUMN: Comforting, hearty, friendly, nostalgic, warm

WINTER: Disciplined, expensive, focused, opulent, serious

 

Do let me know what your colours are and if you think it matched a season and represented you both!

 

A natural approach

 

I am reasonably confident that this isn’t a way a couple would choose their colours! So, lets crack on with that….

Firstly, decide on a colour that represents you BOTH, we all know I love pink, but I feel if we chose that colour the day would be more about ‘me’ than ‘us’.

In this example we are choosing the colour ‘Emerald Green’ (when talking colours I really love to name them….. Dove Grey, burnt orange, eggshell blue …!)

There are several rules that you can follow to ensure a successful colour match.

 

A technical approach

 

1: MONOCHROMATICS

The use of one colour family in various values or intensities. This can be very effective for a subtle look.

2: ANALOGOUS

These are neighbouring colours on the colour wheel and these work as they share the same undertones, for example, ‘Blue, Blue Green and Green’. These colours are harmonious but not altogether what we are looking for as you want impact. So, add in another neighbouring colour (such as blue purple) and you have a more eye-catching palette.

3: COMPLEMENTARY

These are colours that are opposite on the wheel, one hue is cool, the other warm – think yellow and purple, orange and blue.

I believe that using a few of these rules together can bring together a palette. I am going to choose some other green tones, and then add in some other colours.

Luckily with choosing the colour green, it can pretty much match to any colour due to its association with nature and flowers. I am choosing a vintage rose blush (Emerald cool, blush warm) and as an accent a shimmering gold.

 

Green blush and gold colour palette

 

Let me know in the comments how you have chosen your colours and tell me what they are! For help with planning your wedding using Pinterest click HERE.

 

Categories: Tips, Weddings

How to use Pinterest to plan my wedding

Pinterest wedding planning

 

How to use Pinterest to plan my wedding

 

Pinterest is a widely used tool for wedding planning, but how do you use Pinterest to plan your wedding without getting overwhelmed?

Firstly, a word of warning. A lot of pictures on Instagram could well be way out of budget. There is no point in saving images of florals that cost £25,000 when you have a £500 budget.

Lets begin by building our Pinterest boards, only once you have established a starting point for your look, read about that HERE.

I absolutely LOVE Pinterest, but when I design weddings and shoots, I don’t like to imitate, so I build boards based around textiles, textures and overall feel. For example, my snow-white board incorporated a rich red velvet, a shiny apple, and pictures of the sun beams in a glade in the woodland. This way the suppliers were able to get creative and to bring to life something original.

 

Step one

 

Step one: Create an overall ‘Wedding Board’ go through and Pin things that take your fancy, no need to be frugal here as we will curate a bit later. Be sure to think about how you want the wedding to ‘feel’ so don’t just use wedding pics, you can find materials you like, interior design, think outside of just weddings.

Pinterest wedding

Step Two

 

Step two: Take your time, you do not need to do this all-in-one go, in fact, you will get a more rounded picture if you come back to it over a couple of weeks. Do not forget to involve your partner in this process!

Step 3: Now its time to review what you have saved, are there similar images? Which one do you like best? What you are aiming for now is a clarity in your vision. Narrow down to an overall look and feel of the wedding that you want.

Pinterest board wedding

Step Four

 

Step 4: Next, I would be inclined to set up individual boards for all of the details that you are planning for:

Tablescapes

Invitations

Dress

Flowers

Favours, etc

Really drill down into the subjects including colours, fonts, ribbons, placemats. Glassware etc etc

TOP TIP

 

TOP TIP: Did you know that you can create secret boards?? So if you are worried about friends and family seeing, just make it secret and share with just the relevant people.

Pinterest secret board

When you set up your boards share them with me so I can help if you need.

Categories: Tips, Weddings

How do I choose a style or theme for my wedding?

How to pick a style or theme

 

How do I choose a style or theme for my wedding? – where to start

 

So, you are wondering how to even begin to choose a style or theme for your wedding and if you even need to do this step. Is there a difference between a style and a theme? Are you thinking; I don’t want a theme, where do I go from here?

I am here to break it all down for you, so that you can crack on planning your wedding once all of this has been decided.

Our good friend and wedding planner, Illy from www.illyelizabethweddings.com, has given this insight into how she would initiate this thought process with her clients:

“I ask my clients to pick one thing; either an item or a colour and we then build up from there”

 

Style or Theme?

 

Ok, so lets first talk ‘style’. If you have already picked your venue, do keep this in mind at this point.

I shall list the various options of these below and this list is by no means exhaustive, but it might give you an idea of what it is that you like.

Bohemian (BOHO) – Relaxed and Carefree, think 70’s, flower power festivals.

Garden Party – Outside with lots of florals, afternoon tea

Festival – Hosting your own mini festival, lots of drinking and dancing, street food vendors

Formal – Black tie event with full sit-down meal

Romantic – Flowing materials and lots of candles and fairylights

Rustic – Haybales, hessian and mason jars

Rustic bunting

 

And now some themes, of course you may decide to combine the style with the theme……..for example modern Alice in Wonderland, vintage garden party.

 

Here are some ideas:

 

Swan lake

Tropical

Iridescent

Fairy-tale

Star wars

Dinosaurs

Colmans mustard

Theatre

The Greatest Showman

 

Final Tips

 

The list here is endless and I would start this with your partner so decide what it is you would like to incorporate into your day.

I would encourage you now to start building your Pinterest, please have a read of my blog post HERE to see how to do this without complete overwhelm.

At this point you may have decided on just a colour as your theme, you can read more about how to choose a colour palette HERE.

As a case study here, we are going to look at my fictitious couple, who are ex dancers, and their chosen item is a pair of ‘Ballet Shoes’

Ballet shoes

Join me over on Instagram and Pinterest as I pull together the theme.

Categories: DIY Home Projects, Lifestyle, Tablescapes, Weddings

How to Style an Easter Table

To create a simple woodland themed Easter table couldn’t be simpler! I am going to share with you how to style an Easter table for a charming celebration.

As always, let yourself be guided by nature, so using yellows and greens is perfect! Seasonal daffs are abundant, and you can buy theses from the supermarket for about 99p a bunch.

Easter Styled Table

You can use bits and bobs from around the house, I found a little bunny, a mouse, my hedgehog candle holders. I also foraged in the garden for some foliage. (if you don’t have a garden, then try the hedgerows or ask a neighbour)

Easter Styled table

I then used my dyed muslin for the runner and napkins, it’s a great material to dye and very reasonable (I think about £3-£4 a metre) I also used the same material to create my knot napkins, a great way to keep the styling coordinated.

Easter styled table

Start with your base, the table. Perhaps you will use a cloth, or a runner. I then dress the central piece, with florals and my finds from around the house. Remember to think of varying heights. Add in your chargers/placemats, plates, cutlery and glasses. Finally add your details such as name tags, and gifts.

Easter styled table

I saw a question on Instagram the other day; ‘Shall I not have chargers. Will anyone notice’ My advice would be that you need to consider the bigger picture here, how will the look come together as a whole? You want to create a cohesive experience, and I think that the details are what make this.

Easter Styled table

 If this is related to cost, then think outside the box here; for example, could you use napkins as a setting rather than a charger? I have used mismatched shabby chic style paper napkins as place setting before now as the table was looking quite empty.

Fancy making an Easter Wreath to match? Click HERE

Much love and a very Happy Easter!!

Easter Styled table
Easter Styled table
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UK Wedding blogger cassie ockwell

Welcome to my blog!

I hope you will find tonnes of wedding inspiration here, as well as crafts for your home. Hop on over to the lifestyle if you fancy a break from planning.

Do pop into my shop to find some curiosities and downloads to help with your projects.

XoXo

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✨HAND DYED SILKS✨ These look gorgeous on a han ✨HAND DYED SILKS✨
These look gorgeous on a hand made bow book…. What other colours would you like to see? 
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😳😳😳😳😳😳 Gosh the time goes so qu 😳😳😳😳😳😳 
Gosh the time goes so quickly!!!! I still have about 5 DIY projects to do, but luckily I am quieter in September so it will be all hands on deck…. Well, myself and my MOH anyway! 
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✨THE START….. I have handmade paper and card, ✨THE START….. I have handmade paper and card, my hand dyed silks and some gold wax …. Can’t wait to get started and show the finished invitations! 
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#handmade #diywedding #diyweddinginvitations #diyweddingideas #bridetobe2022 #bridetobe #handmadewedding #handdyedsilkribbon #weddinghacks #weddingideas
💫WORD💫 Now don’t get me wrong - I am ALL a 💫WORD💫
Now don’t get me wrong - I am ALL about the details but I do think it’s really important to remind ourselves of WHY we are doing this, so when you feel overwhelmed and stressed out with planning, try and take a few moments to reflect.
On the day itself, relax and enjoy it!! This will make your guests relax and enjoy it too!!! 
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WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING 🛍 A few tips which I fo WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING 🛍 
A few tips which I found useful for my dress shopping, for me, it wasn’t my first time, but the biggest thing I took away the first time round was that I went for something completely different to what I though I wanted, trust your stylist as they know what will look fabulous! 
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✨IDEA✨ what a sweet idea, if your grandma has ✨IDEA✨ what a sweet idea, if your grandma has her wedding dress/ dress jewellery , take some of the detail/jewellery and pin to the underneath of yours! This was a something old AND a something blue.
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I am really hoping for some old earrings belonging to my granny for my something old - what’s yours going to be? 
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